you want me to do what? and for how much?!

danytheme:

We all like to talk about that “Running like Naruto" phase that all dorky weaboo kids go trough, but what we don not talk enough about is the later “Sitting and eating like L" phase that all dorky weaboo teenagers go trough

a letter from the end of the first week of hogwarts
albus severus: dear mum and dad
albus severus: i was in the library today
albus severus: reading a book about previous heads of hogwarts
albus severus: and i would just like to say
albus severus: are you fucking serious
albus severus: i demand a name change immediately
albus severus: just literally anything else please
albus severus: fucking dobby kreacher potter for all i care
albus severus: sorry for swearing i just
albus severus: bloody hell
albus severus: yours sincerely,
albus severus: aragog fang potter or some shit

pizzaotter:

somekindofcontraption:

ohyousillypotato:

rogueshenanigans:

makin my way downtown

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walkin fast

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faces pass and im homebound

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What the actUAL FUCK AM I LOOKING AT JESUS CHRIST

MAKE IT STOP OMG

whatwouldfezwear:

the-sarcastic-robot:

if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon

Better yet, make like one of my favorite short stories and murder them with big frozen leg of lamb and then cook the lamb. 

Then when the police arrive offer them something to eat and then have the police eat your murder weapon. 

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I love that story

otakusapien:

superqueerpasta:

scaredpotter:

how many people would worship and glorify umbridge if she wasn’t a woman and played by a moderately good-looking man 

twistedtheuntoldstory:

these are pure gold why were they ever deleted

americandreambarbie:

what was that you were trying to say about “britney ages like milk”??? hahahaha

the-outsiders-dishonor:

romy7:

celestialdeth:

misterkevo:

theadventuresofpam:

Harry was the favorite kid and he wasn’t even an official part of the family

Because Molly knows exactly how the Dursleys treat him. There’s no way Ron wouldn’t tell her. And Molly Weasley is a Mother. She gets a capital M because she is goddamn phenomenal at what she does. When she hears Harry Potter is on the train to Hogwarts in Book 1, her reaction isn’t to be starstruck. It’s to say “that poor dear had to come here all on his own.” Molly Weasley loves harder than anyone. She loves like it’s her sole reason for being. And when she hears there’s a poor boy who has never known love his whole life… how could she not?

In Year One Molly Weasley knit Harry a Weasley family sweater and made him homemade chocolate so he would have something to open on Christmas DON’T TOUCH ME

could I also just add that kids from abusive households tend to assume that yelling is directed at them and/or it heralds something bad for them so she’s making extra sure that he knows that this is not his fault and she’s not actually mad at him.

Be careful who you vent to.
Realest shit I’ve heard all morning. (via ohdangitsnina)

setbabiesonfire:

impala-sonic-deductions:

vivere-est-ars:

every woman on tumblr should have this on their dash

And every man

Look how nobody’s yelling or arguing or making things into a competition. Look how this is to straight up educate people through a different perspective. Look how effective that makes the message.

artemia:

note-a-bear:

aminaabramovic:

everyone needs to watch this video before they log off tonight

well, now I know what I’m doing every time a car alarm goes off

this looks like so much fun

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP COUSIN
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP COUSIN

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO